The Tiger (Draft)

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Once Upon a time there was a little pig (and I mean ONCE upon a time) until I got  the tiger! it ate the pig. You know I was going to eat that pig. don’t worry I’m not going hungry. I just got two More pigs and the tiger Will not eat them because... I told the tiger that he will have a bullet going up his butt if he eats the pigs! one of the pigs is a pet pig that will not get eaten.

Soon I will be getting a pet horse and I will ride it into town because it does not have to refill on gas. that is the good thing about horses. they still need to refill on water and grass But it does not cost money for either of those things.

All I have to do is just take him to the creek with grass around it then I could go home. When I got home I noticed a  pig with four legs, a pig with three legs and a tiger licking his lips with a clean leg bone in front  of him.

I was furious and I was just about to go inside to get the .3o3 to shoot the tiger when Jeff pulled up the drive. He said to me “you know that the tiger would be a good pet if You treated it beTter”. that was when i thought i won’t shoot the tiger, I will try to train it so it can become a pet.

Two months later the tiger was so Tame that it was sleeping Beside me and I was able to hand feed him. i also Gave him a name. HIS name is bogart and whenever I said that name he was right there. Now there is no more struggle with training him and he does not eat pigs anymore.

So, that is awesome but then jeff came in the door with a deer on a lead. he said “can you please take care of the deer, thank you, bye” Jeff said without letting me respond. then he ran outside and got into HIS truck. i said to myself when he gets back there will be a dead deer at the door having a note pinned onto the side of its neck saying i shot your deer with my 303 i hope you are happy...not.

So, i did exactly what i said to myself. Then Jeff came to the door he read the note and he said “damn you Alex”. I said “anyway how could i look after another animal when i have shopping to do and a party to go to, so i just shot it.” Later that day jeff called me and said “why did you shoot my deer Alex” and i said because you did not let me answer the question you asked me. “He said what Question”? I said when you asked me to look after your deer. why didn’t you just stick it in one of your paddocks? I said. because it wouldn’t get any food jeff said. “yes they will, don’t be an idiot jeff, you know that paddocks are full of grass. That is what food is for deer and plus i had to pick up my horse and go shopping so, i could not look after your deer. Then jeff just hung up and i threw the phone across the room. After i took a rage i went to my horse put a horse bag and saddle on to see if the saddle fits.

Jeff came down the drive with his gun and did not look very happy he jumped out of the truck loaded the gun, looked at my pig and BANG!  He said “that is what you get for shooting my deer Alex. I just said “thanks for killing my pig, I was going to put him down anyway. Jeff looked even angrier and whispers to himself “damn it, it was meant to hurt your feelings. I said “look you shot something so we are even now. He said “fine but i get to EAT the pig and I said fine.

The next morning I had breakfast and i said “ooo what is that smell it smells like tiger poo” and what do you know bogart the tiger had just left the spot  Where he had pooped and I was mad. I threw a stick at the tiger and the tiger turned around and was about to bite my head off but before he did, I surrendered or i would be dead meat.

Once he went back to his bed i had the rest of my breakfast and then i tidied up the poop, after that i went to work. after a few hours, jeff snuck into my house and stole the money out my savings jar. The jar at least had $600,000 in it. that was enough to get me a bigger house with bigger land and the house itself would not be as scungy as the house i live in now.

When i got home i got onto the computer looking for a big house with big land and i found a farmhouse that has way over 15 acres and the farmhouse was like two story and it had a room that was a pet room and it was only $500,000 and that would mean that i would have spare money for a better car or better truck and i could get a few cows and a few pigs for butchery. So  i jumped into the truck and went to the house and i said “here is the money” and he  said you can take a tour if you want. so i did. then he looked in the jar for his sweet money. then he shouted out “were is the money Alex. “i said it should be in the jar and that was when i knew it was jeff that stole the money. i said “i will be back with the money in a few minutes” after i said that i went as fast as the truck could go two minutes later i had the police right behind me and they said to me “pull over” and all i got was a speeding ticket and thought that i would get a 100 dollar fine but then i got to jeffs. my tiger and my horse and my little pigs were tied up. I was furious. i said to him “i thought we were even” he said “no we weren't because it did not hurt your feelings but when you shot my dear it hurt my feelings jeff said. then i pointed the gun at him “where is the money” it's in my closet jeff said. good but before i go you honking dummy you better unchain my animals before i blow your red honking clown nose off. He said ok ok if you give me that money jeff said before he even got to say another word i blew his nose off with my 303 and he dropped his own gun and i unchained my animals, bought the house and i lived happily for ever but jeff on the other hand did not without his nose.

The end.